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Hi! I’m calling from Hell.

Receiving calls from telemarketers, even on my cell phone, is like my pain: it never stops.  I am a Disabled Veteran with pain every second I am awake, and (it seems) the VA has no solution.  I have no solution about how to stop these scoundrels who continue to call me trying to sell me something.

Three years ago I inquired online about auto insurance.  Well, I don’t have a car anymore, so no longer need the insurance, but I receive calls that start out, “Recently, you inquired about auto insurance–“.  No, I didn’t recently inquire about it.  How recent is three years ago?

I have politely informed the caller(s) that their company is being ripped off when they purchase referral lists or prospect lists.  They are paying lots of money for prospects that are, at least, three years old.

I have an Android phone, and I have constantly been harassed by telemarketers, so I started looking for a call blocker app; a free call blocker app.  The one I decided to go with is called simply Blocker, available from the Play Store (on Android phones).

You WON!

When I receive a call starting with an area code that I do not recognize, besides 800, 866 or 888, I let it go to voice mail.  The caller is then given the option to leave a message.  Often the caller just hangs up without leaving a message.  Well, they just cooked their goose when they do that.

I then listen to my voice mail, and if there is no message I go to my call blocker app and add the number to my blocked calls list.  Now, the next time they call the caller goes directly to voicemail. The caller I.D. flashes for a moment on my cell phone screen, but I am not bothered by my phone ringing. All the callers can do now is leave a message.

They had their chance, but they opted to not leave a message, so all they will ever get is my voicemail.  Every single time I get a call from an unknown area code or private, or unknown or some other I.D., I let the call go to voicemail. I figure if it is really important to them that I speak with them, they can leave a message. Leave no message and it is more likely that the Leaning Tower of Pisa will actually fall over before I answer or call back a caller who left no voice message.

DO NOT CALL!

What infuriates me the most is when I answer a call and get a freaking recorded message trying to sell me something or threatens me in some way, like “We need a return call by five o’clock today EST.” And what are you going to do if I don’t call back?  Call me again? Call my mother? I want them to give me some details about why they are calling. Telling me they need a return call by 5 p.m. without telling me what it’s all about is just a waste of their time. I will NOT call them back.

And, if someone is going to bother me with a phone call, and I answer it, don’t insult me with a recorded message! Put a live person on the line.

I am also infuriated when someone on the other end is obviously calling from India, and their accent is so thick I can understand only 10% of what they are saying.  Then I politely tell the caller I am having difficulty understanding him/her and ask if there is someone else there who speaks English better–then the imbecile hangs up on me!

I added my number to the Do Not Call list, but that seems to be ignored by these mosquito-like pests: they bug you anyway.  So, I made a voice mail greeting that goes like this:

Hello. At the tone, leave your name, a phone number, and a brief message. Do not hang up without leaving a message.

Yes, there are some buggers that ignore that, do not leave a message, yet continue to call back, but they go directly to my voicemail greeting.

TAKE A LONG WALK ON A SHORT PIER!

I hate telemarketers and especially ones who cannot properly pronounce my name.

Do any of you readers have any interesting voicemail greetings or ways to handle these predators?  I’d like to hear about them.

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